In. Out. In. Out- goes the rise and fall of my husband's chest. Ever since his heart attack in February I've watching him breathe when he goes to sleep.
Okay. Watching him breathe more. He's had health
problems for a while and for several years I've watched him as he
sleeps. He sometimes wakes up and sees me staring at him. I'm sure it's
not disconcerting whatsoever for him.
This was also a habit I had
with my grandparents. Especially my grandmother. But her heart would
actually stop for a few seconds before she got her pacemaker. Fun
times for everyone.
I also usually ask the husband several times
during the day if he's ok or if his chest is hurting. I have slacked
off, though, instead of asking 20 times a day I now ask 15 times a day.
I'm sure that doesn't bug him at all.
It's just various family
members have had several major health problems recently. Heart attack,
three surgeries within six months for my mother, my grandfather's
hospitalization and then him passing away. It's made me a little
anxious about losing loved ones.
As stated before I've tried not
to ask him " Are you Ok? Are you sure you're ok?" every few minutes. I'm
trying to get the questions down to ten a day. Ok- twelve a day. And
try not to watch the rise and fall of his chest constantly as he sleeps.
still here. He's doing ok. Breathing fine. I try to live in the
moment. Snuggle up next to him. But because I love him I take a peek at
his chest. Just a quick one.