"Lisa," my grandfather said to me when I got to his house, "I need you to get me some Pepto Bismol, the white kind."
"Pepto bismol is pink," I said.
"No it's white, they have it at the Dollar Store."
"You mean milk of magnesia?"
"Is it white and it works ye?," he said.
"Well, get me some, I want it for bumps. I put some on a bump before and it took it off."
Yes, my grandfather is the Appalachian version of the dad from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", but instead of using Windex to cure everything he uses Milk of Magnesia. Constipated? milk of magnesia. Got bumps? Put a little milk of magnesia on 'em. Fever blister? milk of magnesia. Warts? milk of magnesia.
That's right- Milk of Magnesia: It loosens your bowels and cures your acne!